Adults live within their means and pay for their own failures Henry Cloud If Someone Asks You for Money People who grew up in these families still feel guilty for setting up boundaries as adults. Boundaries Attract High-Quality People The author holds a master's degree from La Sapienza, department of communication and sociological research, and is a member of the American Psychology Association (APA). About the Author: Henry Cloud is an American Christian author. He holds a BS in psychology from Southern Methodist University and a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from Biola University. Boundaries Derive From God’s Nature

Establishing healthy boundaries has created an internal radar system that goes into alert when my boundaries aren't respected. If my "no" isn't respected the first time I say it, I start to feel anxious. If I have to say "no" a second time, I start to feel angry at the person for not listening. And you start attracting high-quality people who can accept your “no” instead without resorting to anger, manipulation or taking it personally. As a non-believer, I was disappointed when starting reading and honestly I wouldn’t have bought the book in the first place if I had noticed it had been about setting boundaries based on biblical ideology. Sometimes this happens in codependent relationships, but in introducing the law of responsibility, the author says that people must be responsible for themselves. Look within yourself and wonder why you have such strong reactions. Do they remind you of your mother or father?Henry Cloud’s workbook on boundaries is based on the one above. However, this has a more practical approach. 3. Where to draw the line: how to set healthy boundaries every day, by Anne Katherine You will begin to see that taking responsibility for yourself is healthy, and you will begin to understand that taking responsibility for other adults is destructive. The first thing you need to learn is that the person who is angry at you for setting boundaries is the one with the problem...Maintaining your boundaries is good for other people; it will help them learn what their families of origin did not teach them: to respect other people. Does your life feel like it's out of control? Perhaps you feel like you have to say yes to everyone's requests. Maybe you find yourself readily taking responsibility for others' feelings and problems. Or perhaps you focus so much on being loving and unselfish that you've forgotten your own limits and limitations. Or maybe it's all of the above.

What I came to see was in any relationship where I feel tension, it is usually due to boundary confusion. The author says that emotional distance is a temporary boundary for when you need to be safe, but it cannot be a long-term state or solution. This is from the book's description: "Often Christians focus so on being loving and unselfish that they forget their own limitations. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend offer biblically based insights into how to set healthy boundaries with our parents, spouses, children, friends, co-workers, and even ourselves." Boundaries have great psychological depth and, if you’re religious, this is your N.1 book to draw your boundaries, learn to say no, and become more assertive.Of every book that I’ve read, Boundaries is the one I recommend most often. All of us can overcommit, become doormats, or find ourselves in codependent and dysfunctional relationships. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend’s one-of-a-kind book helps guide the reader through a change in mindset that eventually leads to a change in actions. If you know you have some unhealthy patterns in friendships, at work, in your schedule, with technology or your family, this book will help you establish the boundaries you need to create the life you are supposed to live.” If you don’t like your job, if you are working too much overtime, if your job is driving you crazy, you must do something about it.