Who’s Your Real Mum?

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Elvi (a child of colour with light brown skin and straight, brown hair) has two mums (one of whom has darker skin and hair and one, lighter than Elvi). When Nicholas (who has light brown skin and curly hair) comes over to their house, he asks, ‘Elvi, which one is your real mum?’ Elvi’s initial, confident retort is: ‘They’re both my real mum.’ Elvi patiently offers similar responses as Nicholas persists, then starts to have a little fun … Ideally, readers who need this message will grasp it sooner than Nicholas does, though perhaps the book’s impact will have more power for those who read it as validation of their own experiences enduring microaggressions. Others’ families sometimes look different from their family, but that they should respect those differences and know that other children’s families are also characterised by love and care But the actor knows his mum would be proud of all he's achieved, as he added: "She'd be proud. Why wouldn’t she be? Anyone who loves and cares about me, all my friends and my family, they're all proud and supportive. I'm sure - well, I know - she'd be the same."

N]ot enough children’s books out there that represent these families … [A] great way to show children different kinds of families. Elvi’s imagination guides her answer to a curious question about what is real. Love is bigger than any answer she can give and her age appropriate answer is pedagogically perfect and developmentally spot on. Jade's battle with cancer was well documented in the media at the time. Following her death, Jeff vowed to give their sons the best start possible and whisked them away to Australia to escape the coverage of the funeral, which is something he had discussed with Jade prior to her passing. Elvi, twinkle in her eye, begins to describe superhuman characteristics. Her mother, “can pull a car with her teeth, is “a pirate in disguise,”sort[s] out gorilla disputes,” etc. Nicholas, catching on, asks again; and, the book resolves, sweetly–as you would expect; with Nicholas coming to a realization (albeit with gentle prodding).All mums will love this! ... [A]n endearing and fun book for all young readers and grown-ups who care for them. A]n empowering approach that shows a child who confidently has her own solution … [T]here’s still a time and a place for books that deal smartly with some of the questions that children in LGBTQ families may encounter. Who’s Your Real Mum? is one of them. Nicholas has gone around to play at Elvi’s house, and keeps asking her which of her two mums is her “real” mum. When Elvi responds that both her mums are her real mum, Nicholas insists that the mum who had Elvi in her tummy can only be the real mum. This is an exceptional book. It promises kindness, humour and insight, and absolutely delivers … Who’s Your Real Mum? manages that rare combination of meaningful moral and pure narrative pleasure.

Who’s your real mum?’ By Bernadette Green and Anna Zobel is a wonderful book that embraces the complexities surrounding the definition of ‘family’. It perfectly captures a child’s innocent curiosity and also their remarkable imagination and storytelling ability. It is a very humourous and playful story that explores the topic of a non-traditional family. The book’s warm and inviting illustrations add to the playfulness of the story.This is a great story about what it means to be a “real mum” and how having two mums doesn’t make one more real than another. I enjoyed this story because it is playful and light-hearted even though it’s about a sensitive question. Jeff previously said: "It was always our priority, we wanted to do everything right for the kids and that was the case right up until the moment, and it didn't stop at that point. That's when the boys really needed us to be on each other's side and we were."

Green imbues Elvi with the experience of having answered this question many, many times. Green’s writing, however, imbues Elvi with much more. It provides Elvi with immeasurable charm and grace, allowing the character to negotiate the situation and still maintain a childlike innocence. And, for a moment, through the wonderful illustrations provided by Zobel, we get to experience Elvi’s imaginings, through a dose of magical realism. After all, Elvi does make up all those things about her moms. Doesn’t she?I've morphed into something quite different from your average dad," Jeff explained, "I'm probably far more sensitive to their feelings and I'm far more aware of when they need emotional support. There are little side effects of my situation where you become really good at doing quite a lot on your own. I've got an ability to push myself beyond tiredness because if I don't do it, it doesn't get done."